Diet Questions Answered

tomz/TIDE · Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 12:07 am Post subject: Diet Questions Answered

Q:Ive heard that cardiovascular excersise can prolong life:is this true?

A:Your heart is only good for so many beats and thats it. Dont waste them on excersise. Everything wears out eventually.Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer,thats like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to livelonger? Take a nap

Q:Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A:You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and grass. And what are these? Vegetables! So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism for delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable) And pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowence of vegetable products.

Q:Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A:NO,not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, this means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way.Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one,etc

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular excersise program?

A: Cant think of a single one,sorry. My phylosophy is: No Pain.....Good!

Q: Arent fried foods bad for you?

A: Youre NOT listening!!
Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact theyre permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a bit soft around the middle?

A: Definetly not! When you excersise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable! Its the best feel good food around

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for you, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey,'Round' is a shape!

Well I hope that clears up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

REMEMBER.....Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways-Chardonay in one hand, chocolate in the other,and your body thoroughly used up,tottaly worn out and screaming
WOO HOO! What a Ride

AND for those of you who watch what you eat, heres the final word on nutrition and health. Its a great relief to know the truth after all these conflicting nutritional studies.

1/The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans
2/The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans
3/The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans
4/The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans
5/The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans

Conclusion - Eat and drink what you like. Being Americans is apparently what kills you

Smile

tomz

Ike · Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 12:30 am Post subject:

A-hem............ Tomz!!! can I have what your smoking! What r u talking about??? He he. Your Trippin out man!!
_________________
Faith Divides Us, Death Unites Us

tomz/TIDE · Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 3:23 pm Post subject: Diet Questions Answered

As we dont have a Jokes section,I thought Id start one off. I also had an old friend from Melb. visiting me at the time of writing that, and he is 10 years younger than me,and used to lecture me about my smoking (the regular kind of cigarette) yet he has had 4 operations to remove excessive fat from his body. Whilst I have only been to hospital once in the last 40 years and that was to remove a wooden baton that speared me in the left hand.

He now excersise daily,whilst I dont,although I do walk at least 20-30 klicks every week(I dont have a car at the mo) so I was having a go at his now daily rituals while at the same time starting a joke section on the forum.
Rereading my post in hindsight I maybe should have explained that bit.
Anyway feel free to post all your jokes here,and as long as we dont use offensive (to others) words,then we may all get some comic relief from it.

Smile

tomz

heres another one.....

Q: Why dont ants have balls?

A: Coz they cant dance!

Ike · Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 5:44 pm Post subject:

Thank God Tomz, I was starting to get worried about you.
_________________
Faith Divides Us, Death Unites Us

blade002 · intermediate Joined: 30 Sep 2007 Posts: 113

I am glad that this is a joke, because i know a shitload about nutrition and there are many fundamental reasons as to why people get sick even when they adopt a healthy lifestyle. If you all have time i will share what i have learnt, but without research and watching bullshit on TV about what is healthy, people get deluded about what actually "is" healthy for whom should be eating it.

And sorry Tomz my friend, ive got no time for people who use the excuse "well i have smoked my whole life and so did my grandfather and he and I never got sick ..etc, so why should i stop!??". Its these people who end up getting a SEVERE bout of Cancer and then try and find every natural cure in the book when before that they denounced everything natural as being a load of shit.

Nothing against ya Tomz, but mate quit the smokes Smile

tomz/TIDE · Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 9:28 pm Post subject: Diet Questions Answered

Blade002 wrote

grapes of gorf · Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:04 pm Post subject:

Cool post Tomz,
what I hate about food science is the inconsistincy one month they say "eat pork" the next "lean beef" and the next month fish is good and pork is bad. Then you should cook your lean beef with monosaturated oil but then polyunsaturated oil is better. I don't eat Mcdonalds because it makes me feel like runny crap. I eat what makes me feel good and excersise doing things that are fun 'skateboarding','mountain bike riding','playing Wii sports!!'.

Anyway, I have a joke Atari Jaguar

grapes of gorf · Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 4:15 pm Post subject:

I've got another joke 'Halo 3, game of the year: Time magazine'

Ike · Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 4:42 pm Post subject:

grapes of gorf · Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 6:55 pm Post subject:

Your right man, I haven't played Halo, if someone was to offer me an original X-Box for free I would probably decline (I don't even want to man-handle an X-box)

I got A joke from the COMPUTER HOOTERS book

Q. Why did the computer put on a surgeon's mask,gown and gloves?

A. It was performing an operation

Ike · Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 7:10 pm Post subject:

Hey Gorf, thats nuts. Declining a free X-box is Crazy. When a X-box is chipped it has endless possibility's and I would have most of the forums support on that. Why do you hate X-box so much? Funny thing is I haven't seen anything that looks and plays better on a Wii yet. I just played Donkey Kong Jet race and it's a disgrace!

Joke time
A cop pulls over a guy.
"Your eyes are awfully red. Have you been drinking?"
"Gee, officer," the man says. "Your eyes are awfully glazed -- have you been eating doughnuts?"
_________________
Faith Divides Us, Death Unites Us

grapes of gorf · Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 10:06 pm Post subject:

People can be one eyed AFL supporters, Ford lovers and Holden haters. Some AFL heads choose to passionately hate Collingwood, I choose to hate the X-Box. There are a couple of games I would like to check out on X-box 'Jet set radio future' @ 'panzer Dragoon' (both Sega Games). I kinda blame the X-Box for killing the Dreamcast. I realise Microsoft saw an opportunity in the console market and had to seize it, But do you really want one company to totally dominate PC and the Console market? I don't buy into the old Microsoft stole everything from Apple crap. The $ is king for Apple and Microsoft. Garry Killdall is not acknowledged at all in helping create the personal computer industry and Microsoft and Apple owe a lot to that man and the XEROX Alto. I loved the Amiga 500 and refused to buy a PC when everyone was going GA GA over Doom, I was still having fun with Stunt Car Racer and Gods on the Amiga and just refused to upgrade. The first time I purchased a PC/Mac to use the internet was not till about 2004. So I grudgingly use a MAC today but wish the Amiga would some how 'rise from the Ashes'. For me to use a Windows machine as my everyday computer would be a small indiscretion, but to own a microsoft console would be heresy.

In the 80?s there were new genres and sub genres popping up all of the time, it was exciting to see the next new thing. Games were accessible and fun for everyone NOT only for HARD CORE-we want another FPS with better graphics-LOVING GAMERS. The Wii and the DS are the only current systems that new, fun and exciting games are being made for. Even when The Wii is used to host a very-tired genre for instance the FPS, you get a new and exciting result Metroid Prime 3 uses the Wii mote as the pointer, this is a much more accurate and engrossing method than analogue control. In Metroid you can reach out with your fist and wrench a door from its hinges or reach out to touch a button (totally cool). Wii sports got average reviews, but is selling Wii?s faster than they can be made its number 8 in the all time video game sales under ?super mario world? and ?super mario land?. Wii sports is bigger than Tetris. Mario Galaxy is critically acclaimed and will probably be the first Mario game that I play right through.

blade002 · intermediate Joined: 30 Sep 2007 Posts: 113